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Sometimes an event takes place that 'uts you in your place'. An event that makes you realize how little you know about things. During these big and hard times I am actually the most happy. I feel like my mind and eyes are being opened and it encourages me to take it a day at a time and quit stressing.

I finally went to the dentist, a new dentist as my old one was terrible. I had been waiting for months to go and been begging my mum to help find a good one. I went to these people on her suggestion. I wish she would have gotten me in sooner because of the news I received...

They were thorough. I got a deep cleaning and X-rays and photos and videos of my teeth. I knew I had at least 10 cavities before I walked in the door. I took terrible care of my teeth and just recently started to care and want to make a difference. I looked at those photos and my heart sank, but at the same time I was prepared for the worse.

I was actually quite proud when I was told I had two whole teeth that didn't need fixed. Everything else needs root canals and crowns. I hate both, but after a while the dentist and dental assistants assured me that it would be great, so I'm giving it a try. It will cost 22,000 dollars, yes, no shitting you, to fix this mess. For my irresponsibility I deserve to pay that. It will be done on a payment plan bit by bit, but I have to pay at least $200 a month. Without a job it means that saving anything for New Zealand is a joke. Its okay. I am fully willing to do this and work hard for as long as it takes. Its that or dentures and I don't want dentures at 24. I will do this. But it opened my eyes.

I see much more than my teeth. Things I thought were so important that really are tiny. I'm going to stop stressing and take things a day at a time. I'm going to be more relaxed and more kind. I know I can do this. I need to breathe easy.


I also want to thank everyone. Its true I get sad because I feel like no one comments or cares, but recently on the wishlist, you guys have been so generous to me. I am so thankful and happy to know that each of you are so generous. I only wish I had a way to pay you back...but sadly its impossible more and more now. But thank you all. I love you all so very much!


~Ard